And here's more:
Some rules for modern living.
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
- No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
- Two wrongs are only the beginning.
- Work is only accomplished by those employees who are still striving to reach their level of incompetence.
- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.(The corollary is: you never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive.)
- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.