25 December 2008

Miracles of 2009

I'm tired of this Nostradamus dude; he's old and dead. It's time for a new prophet, and who else would be better than a random water blogger and his readers?

In honor of Sant' Obama, I (we) make the following predictions for 2009:
  1. Sant' Obama will walk on water -- of the Reflecting Pool -- as he proceeds to his inaugural. He will then take the oath of office on the Constitution -- a document that means more to America than competing man-made texts.
  2. All the stories written in this July 9, 2009 New York Times turn out to be true.
  3. At the December 2009 meeting on climate change, Sant' Obama performs an exorcism -- removing the corporate tumors from the spleens of delegates -- and everyone agrees that climate action should be based on per capita rights to emissions.
  4. Sant' Obama brings down showers of loaves and fishes -- singlehandedly compensating for the environmental and ecological disasters of ethanol and overfishing. People eating good and abundant food dance in the streets. Mother Nature converts from Paganism to Obamaism.
  5. Sant' Obama throws the moneychangers lobbyists out of the Temple Congress. A new ethos permeates legislation: Laws apply to all people, not just special interests.
  6. Sant' Obama brings sight to the blind -- revealing the demand curve to water managers who have only known the supply curve during their sojourn in this earthly paradise.
  7. What's your seventh miracle? (Seven was good enough for Sinbad and Herodotus)
Bottom Line: You can never expect too much when the recent past has been too miserable for hope. Of course, those expectations may be disappointed, but we're only human, right? Light a candle.

2 comments:

Luke Sexton said...

Sant' Obama will heal the sick by Nationalizing Health Care. (Obamaism I love it)

Aquadoc said...

#7: It is revealed that Maude Barlow owns stock in Nestle,Coca-Cola, Veolia, and Suez.